To Lend or Not to Lend?

When it comes to parents helping adult children, there are varying opinions. Some maintain the attitude, “Say ‘no’ at all costs. They’re adults.” – which is completely justifiable in some cases. However, sometimes there’s more to the story. Perhaps a failed marriage, a lost job or uncontrollable circumstance has left your adult child in real need, in which case you may want to help.

The bottom line is every family’s situation is unique when you factor in circumstance and available finances. What’s right for one parent may not be right for another. However, there are points all parents need to consider when adult children ask for help.

  1. Do hear your child out, even if you already have your mind made up. This will show a level of respect; in turn, your son or daughter may better respect your decision.
  2. Don’t be too quick in reaching a decision, and take a few days to prepare an answer if needed.
  3. Will the request make you stretch beyond your financial means? Think beyond here and now. You’re healthy today, but what about a few years down the road? And never underestimate your longevity.
  4. Think twice about cosigning loans. You will be legally responsible should your child default, and late payments may affect your credit rating.
  5. Limit emotion in your decision – or at least as much as possible.
  6. If your answer is “no,” explain why with clear, indisputable facts. In your explanation, be calm but firm. After all, you’re in control and it’s your nest egg that’s at stake. As a conciliation, map out an alternate course of action to assist them.
  7. If your answer is “yes,” set clear guidelines as to what you expect in return – and put it in writing if needed.

Have you gone through this experience? If so, let us know how you handled the situation in our Comment Box.

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More Than a Walk in the Park

Oconee County offers some of the best scenic hiking trails in the country – and members of SENIOR Solutions are taking advantage.

The Oconee Senior Center has formed a Hike Club that’s led by expert hiker Roger Dunton. Roger is a center member who has logged over 6,500 miles in his lifetime, which includes treks on the Appalachian and Colorado Trails. And he didn’t start hiking until he was 65!

Although Roger has experienced more on the trails than most people would prefer – like an encounter with a charging moose – he has a gentle nature that makes seniors feel welcome and confident when they join the club. The group is starting on less-strenuous trails and working its way up to more moderate levels. The goal is to simply enjoy the beauty of nature while socializing and getting exercise.

Roger does warn that hiking is not a “walk in the park.” There are small obstacles to deal with, such as roots and semi-slick surfaces, so it’s important to be in good enough shape to maintain your balance. It’s also important to wear shoes with good traction. Hikers may even want to invest in inexpensive hike poles that can be purchased at local retail stores. And this time of year, it’s important to dress in layers and avoid wearing cotton, as cotton retains moisture. A backpack to hold water and snacks is a good idea. An inexpensive back pack is sufficient for most newcomers.

For more information on The Oconee Senior Center’s Hike Club, call SENIOR Solutions at 864-885-1000.

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When the Holidays Aren’t So Jolly

While the holidays are fun for some, they can be a painful reminder to others – especially seniors – who have lost a spouse or loved one during the year.

To help cope with feelings of depression that often arise this time of year, it’s important to balance time, energy and expectations, according to Nancy Dereng (RN/BSN) of Interim HealthCare.

  • Plan ahead. Doing so takes away the stress of last minute scrambling. Also, plan a holiday budget before you begin shopping to avoid unnecessary financial stress.
  • Learn to say “no.” Saying “yes” can lead to resentment and frustration if your heart’s not into it.
  • Acknowledge your feelings – it’s ok to cry to get your feelings out. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holidays.
  • Be realistic – the holidays don’t have to be PERFECT despite the message presented by the media. But do enjoy the good moments – they’re abundant if you look for them!
  • Take a breather – make time for yourself if needed.
  • Get plenty of rest, but don’t forget the benefits of exercise/walking.
  • Express gratitude for what you have and your blessings. Focus on the positive.
  • Maintain a sense of health balance. Don’t indulge in an overabundance of food and drink – especially alcohol.
  • Don’t try to reproduce past traditions. Instead, create and embrace new ones with friends and family.

SENIOR Solutions thanks Nancy Dereng for hosting a Holiday Depression seminar at SENIOR Solutions. Nancy offers a wide variety of seminar topics related to healthcare. She can be reached at 864-627-1200 or at Nancy.Dereng@interimcares.com.

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Mother Nature Unites Young and Old

When you look back on childhood, it’s often Mother Nature who provides your most cherished memories. Perhaps it’s fishing with granddad, camping out with friends or planting your own garden? No matter, the great outdoors is God’s gift to us.

Recently, members of The Oconee Senior Center shared their recollections of how nature has shaped their lives with a younger generation. Code Academy students – with direction from Clemson University undergrads – interviewed seniors to gain a perspective that only a lifetime of living can reveal.

Clemson student Sarah Colwell, who was in charge of directing the interviews, describes the project.

“We took 7th-10th graders to the senior center near Code Academy to let them experience what it was like to be involved in an interview process. Our team created a guideline of questions about nature for the Code students to ask, but the Code students were completely able to expand on anything they thought was interesting or ask their own questions regarding nature or just on life experiences in general. It was an all-around success from both the student and the senior point of view!”

Colwell recalls two stories that particularly made an impression on the younger students.

“The first one was an interview with a woman who had been to over 125 countries! She told us about how much other cultures cherish nature and how different cultures are from the culture of the United States and from each other. I know the students were absolutely enthralled by her stories!”

“The second interview was with a woman who grew up on a farm with ten siblings. They had no parental figures in their lives, and because of her family’s circumstances she was unable to finish high school. She told us about the ways nature let her be free from all the struggles inside her house. She was very inspiring. Although she has not yet received her high school diploma, she is planning on going back to the adult education center to finally get it. She also was very insistent on talking to the Code students about how lucky they are to receive an education.”

Steve Smith, an Oconee Senior Center Member, said the interviews were beneficial for the seniors as well.

“All the seniors interviewed said they enjoyed the time with young people. I know the students were surprised to talk with someone who lived without electricity as a child! Our seniors were willing to participate, and all said it was an enjoyable time. One of our members even ended up as a volunteer when the students go on hikes.”

The interview experience indeed proved to be rewarding for everyone involved. In fact, students and seniors have now planted a raised garden together at the senior center. Foods include: rosemary, kale, sage, broccoli, collards, basil, and coneflowers (to keep bugs away).

Oconee Senior Center Manager, Deborah Cobb, thinks student involvement has added a new sense of enthusiasm to the center.

“I was pleasantly surprised to see how active our seniors became with the project. They enjoyed sharing their experiences looking back on life, and I think that’s what led them to actually planting the garden. I think, too, that having a younger generation involved adds a little fun for everyone.”

Dr. Cheryl Dye, Director of the Clemson University Institute for Engaged Aging, shares the same sentiments.

“We feel we have made significant progress toward meeting our goal of increasing nature experiences for older adults through these activities and have also achieved the more global goals of the Institute for Engaged Aging by providing opportunities for older adults to be meaningfully engaged in community life.”

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Cut Spending, But Not at Expense of Seniors

Our nation’s economy is dismal at best, and the government is looking for ways to cut spending. Unfortunately, there are a few proposals to change the landscape of Medicare. While I’m not opposed to changes that make sense, I will use this platform as a way to express my concern for proposals that affect our clients.

There is no doubt that a reduction in government spending is necessary. However, any reduction in Social Security and Medicare Benefits is not acceptable. Social security is the only source of income for two-thirds of older American households. Making cuts in Social Security benefits would break our nation’s commitment to provide benefits that our seniors have already earned. Even limiting Social Security would lead to cuts that would make obtaining basic need items impossible to obtain. Many would not have the means to pay for essentials such as groceries, utilities and life sustaining medications. Many seniors struggle as it is to pay for their ever rising health and prescription drug costs. Reducing reimbursement to medical facilities and physician will no doubt cause many medical facilities to make a choice on whether to accept Medicare or not.

Social Security and Medicare benefits should not be on the table for deficit reduction. The benefits are earned through a lifetime of hard work should not be what is at stake here. Please contact your representatives in Congress and make your voices heard.

- Douglas Wright, President/CEO SENIOR Solutions

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Medicare: Where Do You Stand?

Two efforts are underway. One to make drastic changes to Medicare in efforts to reduce government spending; another to protect Medicare for seniors who need help. It’s not an easy decision. Both sides have valid arguments. However, it’s SENIOR Solutions’ stance that Medicare must remain intact, as is, until a plan can developed that ensures seniors will be taken care of.

If you agree, we ask that you make your voice heard. And if you don’t agree, tell us in the comments section below.

Call Your Congressman
Email Your Congressman
AARP’s Information Site
Good Article from The State Newspaper
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Kim’s Korner: So, Is It Caregiver Stress or Burnout?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO7by5lYnXs

Okay I know the video is a little overkill, but if you are a caregiver for someone you can relate somewhat to pieces and parts of the video. A caregiver is anyone who provides help to another person in need. Usually, the person receiving care has a condition such as dementia, cancer, or brain injury, etc. and needs help with basic daily tasks.

Most Americans will be informal caregivers at some point during their lives. During any given year, there are more than 44 million Americans (21% of the adult population) who provide unpaid care to an elderly or disabled person 18 years or older. Altogether, informal caregivers provide 80 percent of the long-term care in the United States.

  • Sixty-one percent of caregivers are women.
  • Most caregivers are middle-aged.
  • Thirteen percent of caregivers are aged 65 years and older.
  • Fifty-nine percent of informal caregivers have jobs in addition to caring for another person. Because of time spent caregiving, more than half of employed women caregivers have made changes at work, such as going in late, leaving early, or working fewer hours.

Caregiver stress is the emotional and physical strain of caregiving. It can take many forms. For instance, you may feel:

  • frustrated and angry taking care of someone with dementia who often wanders away or becomes easily upset
  • guilty because you think that you should be able to provide better care, despite all the other things that you have to do
  • lonely because all the time you spend caregiving has hurt your social life
  • exhausted when you go to bed at night

Caregiver stress appears to affect women more than men. About 75 percent of caregivers who report feeling very strained emotionally, physically, or financially are women.

Although caregiving can be challenging, it is important to note that it can also have its rewards. It can give you a feeling of giving back to a loved one. It can also make you feel needed and can lead to a stronger relationship with the person receiving care. About half of caregivers report that:

  • they appreciate life more as a result of their caregiving experience
  • caregiving has made them feel good about themselves

I know you have heard the expression about placing the oxygen mask over your face first before helping someone else.  There is a very good reason for that.  You can’t or won’t be very effective as a caregiver if you don’t take care of yourself first.  Caregiving can take a very serious toll on your mental and physical health.

Here are some more tips for reducing stress:

  • Find out about caregiving resources in your community Ask for and accept help. Be prepared with a mental list of ways that others can help you, and let the helper choose what she would like to do. For instance, one person might be happy to take the person you care for on a walk a couple times a week. Someone else might be glad to pick up some groceries for you.
  • If you need financial help taking care of a relative, don’t be afraid to ask family members to contribute their fair share.
  • Say “no” to requests that are draining, such as hosting holiday meals.
  • Don’t feel guilty that you are not a “perfect” caregiver. Just as there is no “perfect parent,” there is no such thing as a “perfect caregiver.” You’re doing the best you can.
  • Identify what you can and cannot change. You may not be able to change someone else’s behavior, but you can change the way that you react to it.
  • Set realistic goals. Break large tasks into smaller steps that you can do one at a time.
  • Prioritize, make lists, and establish a daily routine.
  • Stay in touch with family and friends.
  • Join a support group for caregivers in your situation, such as caring for someone with dementia. Besides being a great way to make new friends, you can also pick up some caregiving tips from others who are facing the same problems you are.
  • Make time each week to do something that you want to do, such as go to a movie.
  • Try to find time to be physically active on most days of the week, eat a healthy diet, and get enough sleep.
  • See your doctor for a checkup. Tell her that you are a caregiver and tell her about any symptoms of depression or sickness you may be having.
  • Try to keep your sense of humor.

SENIOR Solutions can help ease some of the burdens you may be facing.  Please feel free to call us and if we don’t do it we will find someone who will.

On my personal caregiving journey while taking care of my parents, I can tell you that it was THE hardest thing I have ever done but it is also the BEST thing I have ever done.  I am not saying that I followed all the tips that I wrote.  But…I can tell you that when it is all said and done, you will have no regrets.  Looking back, I can honestly say that taking care of my Mom and Dad has been one of the greatest privileges in my life.

TTYL!!  Kim

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What Age Is Too Old To Drive?

Requiring seniors to take a driving test to prove they’re capable of staying on the road is a tough call. However, in the next 20 years the number of drivers over the age of 70 is expected to triple in the US, so it makes for valid discussion.

A recent study from the University of Colorado School of Medicine showed that 71% of seniors surveyed support mandatory driver re-testing at a certain age. The survey also found that seniors valued the opinion of families and doctors over the Department of Motor Vehicles and police.

So what role should the DMV play in determining if a senior is still fit to drive, and to what extent? South Carolina DMV requires seniors to pass a vision test and perhaps a written test if they’ve accumulated more than 5 points on their driving record. However, New Hampshire, for example, requires renewal applicants who are 75 and older to take a road test.

Federal statistics show a significant uptick in crashes per vehicle mile traveled when drivers get above 75 years old, and the elderly’s physical and mental states decline with age, resulting in poorer vision and slower reaction time. So it’s fair to say that this is an issue worth debating.

The bottom line is that re-testing would be in the best interest of the public’s well-being and the driver in question. But are such drastic measures feasible? Are they fair or discriminatory? What age should a mandatory test be issued? Even the SENIOR Solutions’ office staff was somewhat divided on this issue. So let’s hear what you have to say.

Also, have you had to address driving concerns with an elderly parent? If so, please share as well.

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Kim’s Korner: Medicare Changes for 2012

So this is what I have found out so far about the changes for next year. You may wonder why I am blogging about this so early, but I want everyone to be sure that if you don’t remember anything in this blog to REMEMBER THIS: ANNUAL ENROLLMENT DATES ARE DIFFERENT THIS YEAR FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MEDICARE HISTORY—THE DATES ARE NO LONGER NOVEMBER 15 THROUGH DECEMBER 31. THIS YEAR THE DATES ARE OCTOBER 15 AND ENDING ON DECEMBER 7TH FOR A JANUARY 1, 2012 START DATE.

In late April the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid services released important information that will affect the 2012 Medicare Advantage and Medicare Prescription Drug Plans. Here are a few of the spotlighted changes we will see for the 2012 Medicare year:

  • There are basically four phases of coverage for Medicare part D. These four phases are the Deductible, the Initial Coverage Period, the Coverage Gap, and the Catastrophic Benefit Period.
  • Deductibles for Part D Drug plans will be increased from $310 to $320. This reflects a $10 increase from 2011 and is the amount which must be spent if your 2012 drug plan has a deductible before the Initial Coverage Period begins.  During the Initial Coverage Period, the costs of the covered drugs are shared 25% by the plan member while the plan pays 75% of the drug costs. The member’s true out of pocket expense during the Initial Coverage Period is up to $652.50, with the plan paying $1,957.50. The total amount spent by the member and the plan during the Initial Coverage Period is $2,610.
  • The Coverage Gap or the “donut hole” begins when the deductible and the initial coverage limit reaches $2,930. During this Gap period the member will pay 86% for plan-covered generic drugs and 50% for the plan-covered brand drugs. The total amount spent for the deductible, the Initial Coverage Period and during the Coverage Gap will total $6,657.50 before reaching the Catastrophic Benefit Coverage Period. During the Catastrophic Benefit period will pay reduced co-pays for the prescriptions; $2.60 for generic medications and $6.50 for brand name drugs.

Some dates of importance are as follows:

  • September 15-30: Medicare & You Handbooks will be mailed.
  • October 6: Medicare Tool Finder data will be live for the 2012 plan year.
  • October 15: Annual Enrollment Period begins.
  • December 7: Annual Enrollment Period ends.

SENIOR Solutions is available not only during the annual enrollment period but year round to assist with this process. Our staff is trained and SHIP certified with the Lt. Governor’s Office on Aging. For more information, please feel free to call 225-3370, ext 135.

TTYL—That’s talk to you next week. Be blessed!! Kim

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Rosenwald Podcast and Traveling Exhibit

The National Trust for Historic Preservation recently visited Seneca to bring recognition to the Rosenwald School Building Program – a program that began almost a century ago.

Katherine Carey and Tracy Hayes of The National Trust’s Southern Office, located in Charleston SC, interviewed two former students of Seneca’s Rosenwald School for audio podcasts that will be available for listening and downloading on The National Trust’s web site. The Trust also set up an exhibit on Rosenwald Schools in Seneca’s City Hall that will remain for the next two months. The exhibit was funded in part by the Humanities Councilsc, a state agency of the National Endowment for the Humanities.

“The Hillsdale Fund in North Carolina recently provided our Rosenwald Schools Initiative with a grant for the purpose of capturing audio footage for podcasts,” said Hayes. “We have amazing stories and perspectives so far, including an interview with Julius Rosenwald’s grandson (Peter Ascoli). Our biggest problem is editing these wonderful recordings into short 6- to 10-minute podcasts.”

The Rosenwald Program was begun in 1912 by Booker T. Washington at Tuskegee Institute in Alabama, and funded by Julius Rosenwald, who was then President of Sears Roebuck & Company and is remembered as a historical figure in the advancement of African-American education. The Rosenwald Fund provided seeds grants specific to black communities in the rural South. These grants helped build the Oconee County Training School on Seneca’s Perry Hill in 1925 – a building that is near and dear to the hearts of African-Americans who attended school there, including Mrs. Mary Ann Jones (Class of 1949) and Mr. Roy L. Mack (Class 1951).

Both Jones and Mack were interviewed and recounted what the school meant to the African-American community in Seneca while verbally painting a picture of life in a segregated society. The two former students were chosen after The National Trust viewed a recent Rosenwald documentary produced by SENIOR Solutions – a non-profit organization that owns the Rosenwald Building, which is now home to The Oconee  Senior Center. The center has obtained several major grants to restore the historic building. Renovations are expected to begin in the next few months.

The National Trust’s podcasts will be found at www.preservationnation.org starting this fall, and its traveling exhibit is on display at Seneca’s City Hall (221 East North 1st Street) now through July. SENIOR Solutions’ Rosenwald documentary is at www.UpstateSeniors.org.

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